[Dean Kowalski]

Congratulations on winning the Strandle Challenge and being safe this round!

1.  Let's start off with a quick trust ranking. From most to least, who on your tribe do you trust?
2.  How do you think your current activity level is affecting your game?
3.  We understand and empathize with how stressful this game can be for many. How are you managing the stress of the game so far?
4.  Do any of your family/friends know you play Survivor ORGs? What do they think of it? Are they dialed into what's happening with your game?

[Jay]

Congratulations on winning the Strandle Challenge and being safe this round!

1.  Let's start off with a quick trust ranking. From most to least, who on your tribe do you trust?
2.  How do you think your current activity level is affecting your game?
3.  We understand and empathize with how stressful this game can be for many. How are you managing the stress of the game so far?
4.  Do any of your family/friends know you play Survivor ORGs? What do they think of it? Are they dialed into what's happening with your game?

Trust ranking, well here we are:

1. CeCe - first person to really ally with me and like I trust her, like big time, at the momento. She's level-headed, bit of a shield for me as someone who's not too social, almost the opposite of a threat shield, right, like someone who isn't well connected with the minority, and so would be targeted over myself.
2. Tay - such a rock solid bloke, we just vibe really well, right off the bat, and I feel like he's gonna be a really reliable person for me, and just someone who if I want to flip the game and cause chaos, would do it with me. Ripper bloke.
3. Mama Jess - We've really bonded over the last couple of days, and I love her mentality towards life and other people, and I completely take back my initial impressions of her. Very positive and loving. She told me today that her daughter knows she's playing and she said that I'm her favourite, which usually if it was most other people I'd be like, 'today on things that never happened', but with Jess it's like I feel it's genuine. Only problem with Jess is, I haven't hugely worked on cultivating that into a super strong game relationship. That'll come soon enough, but I'm taking it slow with Mama Jess for now. 
4. Ken - Ken feels, well, hard to rank. He's pronounced me as his number 1, problem is, it felt a little forced, or like he'd sorta be able to say that to anyone else, and be able to decide where actually he wants to put his faith. Idk, evidence sorta suggests the contrary, since we're in two 'core' alliances, with CeCe, and with Bret. Just something about him seems off. He's very directly gamey, and is very comfortable talking game, to where it sorta feels slightly forced. Idk the vibes tricky with Ken. But I feel like he trusts me, and I know come a swap he'd stick loyal to me, so that's aight. Also technically part of the alliance with Rachel, but I don't see that leading anywhere.
5. Michaela - She's not in any of my alliances, cores, majority, or otherwise. However, I do, to an extent, trust Michaela. She's kinda like my out, in that minority position, where like she's firmly against the others in the minority, given how hard they went against her in the first vote. But also like, I feel like we have a fairly good connection, game-wise particularly, to where I can trust her to pull something with me, if the majority alliance collapses.
6. Rachel - Been working on developing my relationship with her, despite the tribal council yesterday. I feel like she does want to work with me still, although I think that's more out of necessity due to her position more than desire to work with me, who just lied to her for a whole round. I feel like she's a more dangerous player than the two beneath her, which is also why I trust her a little bit more, funnily enough.
7. Bret - Bret just straight up gives me snake vibes, and I don't know whether it's just his mannerisms, who he is, or if it's his strategy of getting in good with people. But he strikes me as a straight up ass kisser :crine:. But, he is in both a core alliance, in Me, him and Ken and the majority alliance. But do I think he's a dangerous snake? No. So why chop the head off the snake when the snake's not dangerous. And anyways it doesn't serve my position to try get Bret out now anyway.

8. Paul - I just want to clarify some of my comments about Paul yesterday. That was my thoughts on Paul, within the game, just as y'all have ur thoughts and ideas about us, within the game. I'm actually really impressed with the way he's conducted himself over the last 24 hours since that, he's been pretty positive, and we've had some really good conversations about what's went down, but also outside of that, I think generally he's just a decent bloke, right. But, does that mean I trust him? Absolutely not. From my perspective, he will be the numero uno target for me, until we get to a swap. From there, I'll adapt my position depending on the hand I'm given.

9. Jacob - Fuck salty bitches.

[Jay]

Well, I reckon my current activity level is...um..very high, comparatively, which isn't a knock against anyone else, I think like I've just been engaging a lot with this experience and really enjoying it so far. Speaking of which I wanna speak about that challenge right. Coming out of orgs, yk, I'm not a huge challenge player. Like I can never rely on challenges, if I win one cool, but it's never part of my gameplan to rely on a challenge win to succeed. If I do that, my social game's failed, and so generally I usually rely heavily on my social game. I just guessed challenges here would be the same. But, challenges like that are super good for me, and I was super excited that I was able to be useful to my tribe to help them win. It's got me thinking, whether I might actually be able to use challenges to my advantage this season. But yeah, my activity level, maybe it's put a target on my back, maybe not. It's certainly helped me with my social game though, I feel pretty good about my social game at the moment. 

[Jay]

In terms of managing stress, well at the moment, don't have to do too much of that, I'm not really finding it that stressful, more so like pretty chilled out so far. But to manage stress, like generally just try to stay pretty laid-back and also caring, it's one of the most valuable things, I find, to be caring, even within this game. Not necessarily for your benefit within the game, but just like for the enjoyment of not only yourself, and of other people. It's why I appreciate people like Jessica so much. 

[Jay]

My girlfriend knows I'm playing in Stranded atm, but she's not like hugely engaged with it, or with survivor in general, really. Which is okay :) we share so much in common with each other, and so like it's one thing that's sorta like, my thing, and she lets me go nuts with it lmao, sometimes she asks me how I'm going with it, and usually I'll be too cocky and say really good, only for me to be voted out the next round :P. But ya, nobody in my family is really inchrested in it, which is fair enough. 

[Jay]

Aight, I rckn it’s storytime y’all. Just gonna do a lil breakdown of my life and my experiences so far so that y’all understand a bit more about who I am actually as a person. Not lookin for sympathy, or nothin like that, this is a happy story, with a happy ending. So, when I was 6 years old, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. It’s an Autism Spectrum disorder, and it inhibits my ability to pick up on social cues, organisation, body language, facial expressions, etc etc . And throughout my childhood it was always something I feared. Yk, throughout school, I’d be very hesitant socially, very cagey. On top of that I placed a label upon myself, it was like a cage, that I couldn’t see out of. It was my limitation, my barrier. I had a couple of really close friends at school, who I felt I could be myself with, but in other scenarios, this fear just crippled me. My parents are very black and white, and they expected me to do really good things at school. But I didn’t. And it made me feel like a failure. To add salt to the wound I was so fearful of making mistakes, or saying something wrong, that I wouldn’t be open with anyone about how I was actually feeling because of this, and instead I should just ‘prove to myself that I wasn’t a failure’. But at the same time, it’s almost like I wanted to prove myself right. All this time, I was swimming, all the time. It was my escape, my chance to be who I actually was, but even in that case I was pretty closed off, although that was mainly due to the environment the coach created. A few years ago though, something clicked with my swimming, around the time we changed to my current coach and something started to click. And I started to feel like I wasn’t a failure again, that I could actually succeed. Around training, I was more loud, more encouraging, more actual characteristics of who I am. As time went on, I slowly but surely became a pretty important part of the club, until last year, when I was appointed club captain. And now this is sorta like the happy ending part. As a kid growing up thru the years as part of that club I never really felt included or really looked up to any of the older swimmers because they were so like segregated and separated. If I ever reached that level of leadership I always wanted to change that. And currently, I’m captaining, teaching, swimming and coaching at my club which I love. And I don’t say this in a cocky or arrogant way, but rather one of endearment. There are so many kids there who not only look up to me cause I’m a super fast swimmer, and I’m old. But rather, because of who I am. That is my success story, not across just swimming, but all facets of my life. I’m incredibly proud of who I’ve become, what I’ve achieved. And every day I try to share my joy, because joy makes a fuck load of difference in the life of people who are struggling. That’s a slightly cut down version of my story, excluded some stuff for privacy obviously, but yas :) that’s me.

[Michael Snow]

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Jay!

[Loveita Adams]

I love that so much! Joy does make a fuck load of difference. 

[Jay]

And thanks to you guys for the support, it means a tonne :)

[Jay]

Also, back to a lil but of game rants, I expressed to Jessica last night how much I value her positivity and just genuine kindness, and that I really want to go super far with her. She reacted really positively, which I’m stoked about so yas! 

[Jay]

The thing is with Bret, I think I've noticed. Everything he says is so like...empty? I don't really know how to describe it, but like nothing he says, on like just a conversation level, carries any weight, like it feels disingenuine or like he's not fully engaged in the relationship. And idk if that's just him and his style or what, but I'm not vibing with it.

[Jay]

I'm sorry but whatever hellhole you dragged Jacob out of good on you's cuz he's good fucking TV. Needs a lotta sense knocked into him though.